We Can Only Lose What We Cling To

We Can Only Lose What We Cling To

This life is hard. Right?

Agonizing. Backbreaking. Unapologetic.

Two weeks ago I cut ties with the person who had been my rock for over a year. We did everything together. When I looked into the mirror, a separate pair of soft brown eyes was always staring back at me, and I felt safe. I felt safe knowing that this soul was never going to stop cooking the morning eggs. I felt safe knowing that there would always be an extra towel laid across the radiator, to keep it warm for them. I felt safe saying goodbye, because I knew there was always going to be a hello.

I felt safe. This word soon grew to become a curse word—I wasn’t put on this earth to feel “safe.”

We were both speeding down a dead-end road, both of us scratching and clawing at the wheel in an attempt to turn around, but the wheel was locked. Despite the “safeness”, our days were laced with extremes—love ran rampant, but so did the pain. “Love” became interchangeable with codependency and obsession. I grew restless.

So, I pulled the plug on our relationship. They were gone.

But shortly after, like an addict, I hastily tried to re-connect the power, despite the chords’ many frays and frown-lines.

Our relationship was battered and non-functioning, co-dependent and addictive, yet I still tried to plug it back into the socket. We were ruined, but I remained dedicated to the destructive jabs of pain in the pit of my stomach, over hearing the echoes in the hollows of my blackened heart. “It’ll work this time. It has to.” And it did—for a second. Then, the connection was lost.

This cycle continued for far too long.

Tears streaming down my face, I glanced into the mirror, but this time, the soft brown eyes weren’t staring back at me. I asked myself how I got here again. How, after so many heartbreaks and the eventual metamorphosis after each gut-wrench—how am I here again? Didn’t I learn my lesson the first time? Let me re-trace my steps, whisper my mantras to myself, anything—just please, life, take this feeling away from me.

Am I missing some great piece of wisdom that everyone else on earth knows, except for myself?

The answer? No.

No, love. For this—this is life. In all its shambles and tears, I will find myself. In the pain. The bittersweet pain, the tears, the breakdowns, the identify crises—these moments lead us to our true selves. A stronger self, one that has a callused heart, but will eventually find love again. And it will lose love again. Yes, heartbreak will eventually return, and no, I most likely won’t handle it better the next time. But you know what?

That’s okay. That’s fine. That. Is. Life.

Life is found in the magic of a lover’s smile, and in the iridescent glow of the moonlight on your walk home. It’s found in their breath, lips curled in anger, heartbreak spewing out like lava. It’s found in nostalgia after you smell their forgotten white shirt, in ecstasy when you kiss, and in despair after they’re gone. Life is built on these moments—shitty, gut-wrenching, lonely, amazing, powerful, blissful, life-altering moments.

Life is hard, right? Yes. But life is far more beautiful.

Learning to let go and free myself has been one of the hardest but most valuable lessons in this world. It’s so easy for us—so safe— to cling to the old, grab the broken chord, and attempt to re-ignite the spark. But who has time for safe?

It’s time to drop the chord. Life is an abundant, messy, confusing, exhilarating journey. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“You can only lose what you cling to.” ~ Buddha

content and image source : elephantjournal

10 Ways To Look Wildly Attractive To A Man (Or Woman)

10 Ways To Look Wildly Attractive To A Man (Or Woman)

Most of us are attractive in some way. But are you ready to be “wildly” attractive?

We feel really good when we know we’re attractive to others, especially the opposite sex (or the same sex). When we make a positive impression, we feel it in our mind, heart and our soul. It feels good! Being attractive is a turn-on to those we love and those with whom we seek to have a romantic relationship.

Of course, most of us go through periods where we feel unattractive, too. Sometimes, the hard part is figuring out how to motivate ourselves to feel and be more attractive.

Well, have I got good news for you: When the planet Jupiter passes through your first House, the “gods of self-improvement and confidence” beckon your door. For one whole year Jupiter becomes your personal teacher and mentor, smiling at you, urging you to be all you can be. He’s your life coach, wearing a game hat, sweatshirt, a whistle in his mouth, ready to cheer you on to be an even better you.

When Jupiter visits the first house of your horoscope, you’re likely to feel optimistic and cheerful. Expect people to shake your hand and say, “He’s a really great guy, I enjoyed meeting him,” or “She has such a positive personality; it was really great talking with her.” You’ll be naturally attractive to people you meet. It will be an opportune year for you to be out in the public meeting people, networking, socializing and making contacts.

Will you be ready to put your best face forward?

The biggest benefit of Jupiter’s influence is that it provides you the opportunity to improve your personality and appearance. You can become an even more beautiful person on the outside and especially on the inside. Here’s how you can be more attractive to the sex you most want to appeal to:

1. Personality Improvement. You may have had an ex from your past say, “Grow up, girl!” or “Dude, you’ve got some serious issues!” Jupiter’s passage through your 1st House represents the beginning of a cycle of personal growth and maturity, when you’re trying to discover who you are as an individual. This is the time when you’re finally ready to let go of immature attitudes that stem from your childhood and early environment that are no longer appropriate as an adult. On a personal level, you’re expanding your world-view and becoming more mature and sophisticated about life in general. You’re feeling confident in yourself and the impression you make on others, and you’re eager to have new experiences that will help you grow as a person. That’s muy attractive! Enjoy a self-discovery workshop to aid your personal development. It’s also a fortunate time to be in therapy, where you’ll grow psychologically by resolving emotional issues working with a therapist. You’ll no longer need to be a drama queen.
2. Improve your appearance. It’s easy! This is often an excellent time to have cosmetic surgery. Finally get rid of that toupee, and no longer hear jokes like, “Is that a pet squirrel on your head?” This is a fortuitous time to get those hair transplants. But seriously: Jupiter’s beneficence makes this an ideal year to discover a unique facility you may be unfamiliar with. It’s called: the gym. You have an exceptional opportunity to enhance your physical glow by taking care of yourself through an exercise program and mindful, real food regimen to get fit.
3. Be generous. When Jupiter is in the 1st house, you’ll feel generous with yourself (and others). Even though you are no longer a kid anymore—this is when you’ll give yourself permission to buy that new red Corvette you dreamed of having when you were a teenager. (You won’t even care about those jealous people who think you’re only compensating for “something”.) You’ll be generous with the people you have relationships with, thoughtfully buying them gifts. That is a very attractive quality.
4. Go to school, take a class, learn something new. Jupiter’s transit through your 1st House gives you a wonderful opportunity to improve yourself educationally because you’re drawn to wisdom and have a thirst for knowledge. In addition, you’ll likely win the support of mentors and teachers. So, it’s an excellent time to go back to school, take courses, seminars for higher learning or pursue an advanced degree. Having a higher intellect makes you even more attractive because there is always a shortage of smart men and women (especially ones that can quote PBS instead of Fox News).
5. Seek a promotion at work. It’s a wonderful time to accomplish your goals by approaching powerful or influential people because they will be of huge assistance to you. They’ll see you as being confident with natural leadership ability. You may be honored and receive recognition or even prestige during this transit. At work, this is a fortunate time to seek a pay raise or attempt to win a promotion at work. Being upwardly mobile is sexy! People find high-achieving people attractive. This is when you make your big move from the mailroom to management or president to chairwoman-of-the board.
6. Enjoy creative writing. Jupiter’s influence makes this year a wonderful time to write and publish what you’ve written. And who doesn’t find an author attractive? But if you aren’t ready to write like Ernest Hemingway, pen a card or a poem to someone you like. That’s attractive, too.
7. Take up yoga; begin a spiritual or religious activity. Jupiter’s influence brings out your higher mind and spiritual self. Consider going on a meditative retreat to expand your consciousness where you can learn new truths about yourself (like the fact that you have been a “douche-bag” in your past three relationships. And that is definitely not attractive). It’s a great time to start yoga or go more often to your yoga class. People will come to class and place their mat behind you (just to look at your butt). You are just that attractive.
8. Engage in some sort of political activity. If you have any political aspirations, Jupiter in the 1st house is a great time to run for office (even for the MENSA group you belong to). There is nothing more attractive then a powerful politician. Watch the last three seasons of “House of Cards” and channel your Kevin Spacey “I am the President” persona. And people will say, “Yes sir (or Yes ma’am). Will there be anything else? Or should I just have your limousine ready?” (A limo definitely makes you more attractive.)
9. Travel more. Travel somewhere—where you can become more worldly, sophisticated and, in the process, a more interesting person. Take that trip to Machu Picchu. It will help you forget that embarrassing moment when you were trying to impress that hottie and said, “Isn’t Machu Picchu that small town outside of Tucson?”
10. Laugh more. When Jupiter is in your 1st House, your spirits will rise and you’ll feel like smiling more. Happy, laughing people are the most attractive people on the planet. That’s what people, regardless of sex, will find most attractive about you.

Under this planetary influence you can improve yourself in all sorts of ways to make you an even more attractive person than you already are. Seize the day and take advantage of your good fortune!

Content/Image Source: Elephantjournal

3 Things To Do When Our Relationship Is Struggling

3 Things To Do When Our Relationship Is Struggling

I have been with my life partner for half of my life—two decades.

This is the same amount of time that I have been meditating.

I’m comfortable giving out meditation advice, but I’m always wary giving out relationship advice. Everyone’s relationship is different, everyone needs different things in their relationships and sometimes staying in a relationship isn’t the right thing to do.

But you know, sometimes staying in a relationship is exactly the right thing to do.

Sometimes it is worth working through the tough issues. It is hard. It is demanding. But when we come to the other side of the relationship block, we can find ourselves in a transformative place. Quite like meditation.

In the two decades that I’ve been with my partner, we’ve changed and grown so much. And in that growth there have been several honeymoon periods as well as times of struggle.

I would be lying if I said I always knew we would make it. There have been arguments, disagreements and growth periods where we seemed so far apart that I didn’t know if we could come back together.

But so far we have stuck with it, and for us it has been worth it.

When we go through rough patches in our relationship, here are some things to keep in mind:

1. People Grow at Different Rates

What I mean here is that spiritual, emotional and mental growth are important to humans. It is the way we evolve as a species. However, when one half of a partnership goes through a particularly big growth period it can alter the dynamic of a relationship.

That doesn’t mean the relationship has to end. But it might mean some patience is needed. In my experience, it can take three months to a year for these growth periods to equalize. In order for this to happen, both partners need to commit to the growth process.

Three months to a year might sound like a long time, especially if you’ve only been in a relationship for a few months or a couple of years. But when I look at two decades worth of relationship growth, I can now see that a few months of patience and diligence is worth it to keep the relationship alive.

2. Have fun!

Mostly, people get into a relationship because they enjoy each other’s company. Hopefully, partners find each other funny, interesting and enjoy spending time together. However, when bills, mortgages, deaths, parents and kids come into the picture, our intimate partners can become the place of our worst stress.

We talk with our partners about all the things that make us feel overwhelmed. And we might start to think, why would I want to spend time with this person who causes me so much stress?

That is exactly why we need to go have fun together. We need to take time off from talking about the finances and worrying about the kids and go do the things we enjoy.

My partner and I de-stress by going out in nature or going to see some live music together. We put our fun time on the calendar to make sure it happens. If we aren’t having fun together we can start to feel like, what’s the point of being together at all?

3. Reduce Stress

Unfortunately, stress has a horrible affect on women and men. It can make women clingy and in need of attention and it can make men distant and less interested in romance. Stress can pull relationships apart.

So, there are two approaches to handling stress in our lives and therefore in our relationships.

If it’s temporary stress that is unavoidable, like a sick family member or a busy work period, then we can be honest about how the stress is challenging the relationship, and find humor and grace in the situation. When the temporary stress is over, we can prioritize nurturing our relationship.

If it’s systemic stress that has been going on for years, then it’s important to make a decision: Is it more important to hold on to the systemic stress or to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship? If the relationship comes out on top, then we’ll need to make life changes so that the relationship can prosper.

All things are impermanent. This is what we learn in meditation practice and it also applies to relationships.

We change, we grow and if we’re lucky the relationship itself will, too.

But just like meditation practice, nurturing a relationship takes patience, commitment and a compassionate attitude. When these things exist, we can embrace the growth and change that comes with committing to a long-term relationship.

content and img src : elephantjournal

If You Do These 20 Things Every Day, You’ll Become Smarter

If You Do These 20 Things Every Day, You’ll Become Smarter

Although many people believe intelligence is limited to those with high I.Q.s, there are a number of potential methods to boost one’s cognitive abilities and become more effective at various professional and personal pursuits.

With enough motivation and determination, anyone can expand their mental capabilities and become smarter. Integrating new habits into your regular routine and providing proper stimulation can sharpen your intellect quickly and leave you inspired to take on new challenges each day. Brain health is an important key in complete physical health. The list below includes the best brain-engaging activities in daily life.

Inviting Novelty

To create new neural pathways and strengthen the brain, it’s critical for people to continually incorporate new experiences and information into their lives. At first, these moments might feel useless, but eventually, you will find yourself looking forward to quiet moments alone.

Visit New Places

Whether this means studying in a new coffee shop, taking a different route to work, or traveling to a different country, displacement is good for the brain. This might be difficult to recognize in the moment since it usually feels rather awkward – at least initially. At the coffee shop, you can’t order the “usual.” You have to study a new menu, pick something you have never tried before, and make a decision.

While this seems simple, people enjoy the comfort of habit. We like to know what to expect at all times. When you travel to a new country, the language is strange, the customs are unfamiliar, and the culture presents a strange new rhythm of life. Adjusting to these new elements forces the brain to tackle new, unexpected challenges. Learning how to communicate through a language barrier forces the brain to develop creative ways to express needs and emotions. Listening to new music, trying new foods, and navigating foreign streets all work to challenge your brain’s capacity to adapt to new situations.

Continue Your Education

Adult education is one of the best investments of time, money, and energy you can make. While education is valuable throughout childhood and adolescence, adults often underestimate their ability to learn new concepts and skills. Challenge yourself to take a class, academic or creative. Voluntarily choosing to continue education provides a perfect opportunity for your brain to create new connections and build higher intelligence.

Read and Watch the News

This is one activity that maintains the appearance of habit while nurturing healthy brain waves. Setting aside half an hour every morning or evening to read a newspaper or watch the news will help your brain stay active. Digesting new information is a good daily habit. The news introduces interesting topics to consider, and will leave your brain churning with new information.

Read Books

Reading is the most basic way to facilitate brain activity, but it often presents some of the most diverse opportunities for stretching brain capacity. Reading provides practical assistance by introducing new vocabulary, presenting examples of proper grammar usage, and showing the elegance of a well-written sentence. However, this is only half of the magic of reading.

Whether you choose fiction, non-fiction, historical literature, or poetry, reading offers an opportunity for the reader to make big-picture connections between the literature and real life. In this way, reading is an alternative way to make your brain travel to a new place. As your imagination works to create tangible people, places, and experiences from the words on the page, your brain is rewiring to understand all the new information.

Approach Work in New Ways

The workplace is a canvas for new experiences. Regardless of what type of job you might hold, everyone is at one time or another presented with opportunities to think outside the box, problem solve in a creative way, and contribute fresh ideas to the team. Instead of stressing over each new problem, it’s important to relax and starting imagining alternatives for reaching an end goal.

Challenging Yourself

Like a weightlifter who develops muscles, one must exercise the brain on a daily basis, pushing it just beyond its current capabilities. As Albert Einstein once said, “One should not pursue goals that are easily achieved. One must develop an instinct for what one can just barely achieve through one’s greatest efforts.”

This quote encapsulates what I believe about the brain. With enough focus and stretching, the brain can truly surprise people. Underestimating yourself holds you back from success. When people begin believing in their abilities, they often go beyond what they thought was possible.

Brain Train

Organizations like Lumosity offer fantastic daily brain training. With puzzles and games designed to increase neuroplasticity, Lumosity was created to challenge the brain to make new connections. A group of neuroscientists at University of California Berkeley developed this program to provide stimuli for the brain to push it to adapt and re-train itself in uncharted territory. Success stories abound concerning the results of this public experiment.

Ask 5 Whys When Encountering Problems

One of the most standard problem solving solutions, the 5 whys still provide a solid start to uncovering the root of a problem. Asking a question gets the brain working to find an answer. Instead of worrying about the problem, always start by asking why.

Eschew Technology to Keep the Brain in Shape

Technology does wonders for the modern world, but in some ways, technological dependence stunts the brain’s capacity for problem solving, adapting to new environments, and being a reliable resource for practical things like simple mathematics and navigation. Try going on a trip without a GPS. Work a few algebra problems without a calculator. Make your brain work for you; you’ll see the results.

Fostering Creativity

Finger-painting in preschool was not only a fun activity; it helped open up the mind to new possibilities and ways of solving problems. An artistic mindset creates new opportunities to find new solutions, fresh inspiration, and peaceful confidence.

The blend of these elements in both personal and professional environments allows ordinary people to shine by becoming an innovative thinker and inventive leader. Find ways to incorporate creativity into the dull grind of daily tasks.

Draw

You don’t have to be an artist to appreciate the benefits of drawing, which cultivates brain activity in a unique way. In addition to nurturing basic hand-eye coordination, it sends synapses to neurotransmitters to help more permanently and vividly store your memories. From doodles on a piece of scrap paper to charcoal portraits, drawing is a healthy brain activity for everyone.

Paint

Painting is an extension of drawing. It feeds the same areas of the brain, but unlike drawing, painting often introduces new and unfamiliar textures and colors to stimulate the brain. Painters often have a keen sense of awareness towards their surroundings. Engaging in painting encourages people to notice minute details of the world around them. Focusing the brain in this manner brings a heightened state of alertness.

Play an Instrument

Learning to play an instrument also has outstanding benefits for the brain. Hand-eye coordination, memory, concentration, and mathematic skills all improve through playing an instrument. While some are more challenging to learn than others, any instrument facilitates increased and improved cognitive functioning.

From training your fingers to master complex musical passages on the piano to counting the beats in a musical measure, instruments force various regions of the brain to work together to create music.

Write

Like reading, writing encourages vocabulary growth, grammar skills, and use of proper syntax. Writing helps the brain store information more effectively and fosters better memory skills. Studies show that students who regularly take handwritten notes during college classes consistently score better on tests. Writing forces a person to pay attention to their memories, experiences, and internal dialogues – a combination that increases brain function altogether.

Role-Play

Put yourself in someone else’s shoes, and your brain starts to rewire to help you think like a different person. For those struggling to form creative ideas, role-playing can help the wheels start turning in the brain to help develop unique solutions for difficult problems.

Working with Others

Although logical intelligence is important, emotional intelligence plays an equally vital part in overall success. Interacting with others helps people expand beyond their own limited thinking, gain new ideas, and see things from a different perspective.

People are challenging. Smart people often enjoy isolation because it protects them from being critical of others. However, this discomfort is necessary for truly smart people because it pushes them outside their bubble. When you start to believe you have all the right answers, start collaborating with others to expand perspective.

Teach and Share Information with Others

Whether this is achieved virtually or face-to-face, pursue colleagues and peers to share experience and wisdom. Fresh faces and new ideas spur inspiration and create an amplified learning environment for the brain. By creating a network for sharing ideas, your brain starts developing a new network for formulating and executing innovative concepts.

Talk to Interesting People

No two people share the same life experiences. Everyone interprets information uniquely, stores memories differently, and digests daily life with their own intellectual flare. This makes collaboration a necessity for brain health. Although we are all inclined to think our method is the best approach, gaining perspective from another person helps our brain consider new solutions and new techniques for both personal and professional issues.

Whether the conversation is centered on religion, finances, politics, or diet trends, people should practice being a good listener. Silencing your own thoughts while the other person speaks is often challenging, but the brain needs discipline to stay sharp.

Work in a Team Environment

Collaborative environments are essential for enhancing brain activity. Some people who enjoy working independently dread the moment when they are forced to participate in a team-focused workplace. However, these independent individuals are highly intelligent and can benefit the most from a little teamwork.

Author Steve Johnson’s book, Where Good Ideas Come From, focuses on the benefits of collaborating with peers and coworkers to develop original ideas and effective strategies for their execution. The modern workplace continues to shift towards this team-oriented approach.

Cultivating Physical Health

The body feeds the brain, and keeping oneself in top physical condition is crucial to adequate fueling and operation of the brain. Lack of motivation, mental fatigue, and absence of inspiration are typically connected to poor exercise, diet, and focus.

Exercise

Studies constantly show people who exercise regularly have higher I.Q. scores. In addition to maintaining a strong body, people who exercise regularly actually stimulate brain cell growth. A process called neurogenesis occurs during rigorous exercise, which increases the production of neurotransmitters. With side effects like increased dopamine, active people enjoy less stress, better concentration, and more energy.

Dr. Michael Nilsson of Sahlgrenska Academy and Sahlgrenska University Hospital in Sweden conducted extensive research on the topic. “Being fit means that you also have a good heart and lung capacity and that your brain gets plenty of oxygen,” the doctor said. His research focused on over a million Swedish military men, and Dr. Nilsson found a direct correlation between physical fitness and high scores on I.Q. tests.

Pursue Athletics

Multiple studies have shown active children typically do better in school and have a better chance of continuing their education after high school graduation. Although athletic pursuits can feel grueling at the time, the overall benefits of intense physical activity are wise for your future.

Whether it’s finding one thing you are good at, like basketball, running, or lifting weights, or trying something new every day, maintaining an athletic routine is important for optimal brain health.

Meditate

Controlling and calming the brain is as powerful as enhancing activity through instruments and puzzles. Doctors have been studying the effects of mediation on the brain for several years, and the results are impressive. In one famous study, Dr. Richard Davidson of the University of Wisconsin collaborated with the Dalai Lama to study what happens to the brain during meditation.

Transcendental Meditation yields impressive results for the brain. People who struggle with fear, anxiety, depression, and other mental ailments should experiment with meditation to calm themselves and develop a stronger sense of focus.

Maintain a Nutritious Diet

Children and adults interested in boosting brain activity should begin by transforming their diet. Research from the University of Bristol in England points to a strong connection between unhealthy diet and low I.Q. scores in children. To begin reversing unhealthy tendencies, try cutting out excess fat, sugar, and fast foods, and start adding more vegetables, fruit, and lean meats.

There are also a number of unusual drinks proven to help brain function. Matcha Green Tea, Raw Cacao hot chocolate, and Gingko Biloba tea all show benefits for the brain. Some scientist claim Gingko Biloba helps pump more blood to the brain, improving circulation.

Active Learning

Start children young with interactive video games, jump roping, juggling, and other activities to feed brain stimulation. Assign a musical instrument, a physical activity, or a Sudoku puzzle to get their brains moving. Parents, remember to join in the fun!

Creating daily routines to promote healthy brain activity doesn’t require the advice of a neuroscientist. While plenty of studies provide convincing evidence, increasing brain activity can be accomplished with a few basic steps. Be intentional about your time and energy to start working towards a smarter and more fulfilling life.

Featured photo credit: davidoa via flickr.com

source If You Do These 20 Things Every Day, You’ll Become Smarter

4 Zodiac Signs Most Likely to Get Rich

4 Zodiac Signs Most Likely to Get Rich

© Provided by Mom.me

While no sign has a monopoly on money, some signs may be more driven to earn than others. In fact, a CareerBuilder.com survey found that Scorpio, Leo, Taurus and Cancer natives were most likely to earn $100,000 or more annually—supporting what we already know about these members of the zodiac. For example, money is associated with the second and eighth astrological houses, which are ruled by Taurus and Scorpio, so it's no surprise that both of these signs top CareerBuilder's list. (For real-life examples, take a look at the deep pockets of Scorpio Bill Gates and Taurus Mark Zuckerberg.)

Venus-ruled Taurus tends to covet the most beautiful, refined products money can buy. Settling for the mediocre is completely unacceptable for a Bull. They may feel the need to rack up greenbacks to afford a life of luxury, and they'll persevere in order to achieve the level of comfort, security and stability they desire. Bulls also have a knack for managing money, which doesn't hurt their earning potential.

Though opposite Taurus on the zodiac wheel, Scorpio is equally invested in the good life. This sign wants to delve into whatever heightens an emotional experience, which may include material items, like a fast car, top-shelf champagne or extravagant vacations. And with Scorpio's innate investing abilities and trademark drive, they are on track to turn even their loftiest aspirations into reality.

A typical Leo needs to be noticed and adored—which could come with a hefty price tag. They may be inspired to make big bucks in order to fund their cutting-edge wardrobe, lavish dinners, generous gifts and other pursuits that help them maintain the spotlight. At the same time, Leo's natural leadership abilities might make their rise to the top of a Fortune 500 company—and rapid wealth accumulation—a little easier.

A desire for domestic bliss and security often motivates Cancer to rake in the dough. Crabs live for the opportunity to tend their own garden, host Thanksgiving dinner and provide for a family. Home ownership usually marks the pinnacle of success and happiness for this sign, which is no cheap ordeal. But with this sign's characteristic work ethic and ambition, there's no mystery why they often achieve it (and then some).

CareerBuilder also found that Aquarius and Capricorn were at the bottom of the list of earners, as the signs most likely to net $35,000 or less a year. Aquarians tend to follow their ideals, so they might gravitate toward public service or humanitarian positions with moderate salaries. Similarly, for Capricorn a job's prestige is as important as the pay, so they may find themselves in academia or at the helm of a nonprofit. Of course, this doesn't mean that Aquarius and Capricorn natives can't be successful. Billionaire Aquarians Oprah Winfrey and Michael Bloomberg certainly haven't been hindered in the earning department, and Capricorns LeBron James and Amazon's Jeff Bezos would probably object to being lumped at the bottom as well. It goes to show you that your sign doesn't have to limit your earning power, but it can give you some insight into the most fulfilling path for you.

Image via The Wolf of Wall Street/Paramount Pictures/Photofest

source 4 Zodiac Signs Most Likely to Get Rich

How to Get a Job in Space

How to Get a Job in Space

© World View Enterprises/AP Photo This artist rendering provided by World View Enterprises shows the World View Voyager pressurized space capsule that will be transported to the edge of space. The Arizona…

The private space industry believes there's a booming future in space tourism—and students at MIT's Sloan School of Management want to make sure they, too, can get in on the action. A group of MBA students launched an aeronautics and space industry club in the fall, saying they hope it will help peers take advantage of growing career opportunities for business-minded space enthusiasts.

tourism—and students at MIT's Sloan School of Management want to make sure they, too, can get in on the action. A group of MBA students launched an aeronautics and space industry club in the fall, saying they hope it will help peers take advantage of growing career opportunities for business-minded space enthusiasts.

As Bloomberg Business reported last week, private spending on space travel has grown sixfold since 2010 and is projected to reach $10 billion by the end of this year. Space club students expect that jobs will follow. They swear it's not just an excuse to host Star Trek marathons.

"We're seeing technological capacities that are beyond anything I could ever have imagined," says Chris Holland, a second-year MBA student at Sloan who founded the space industry club. "I want to get in on the ground floor."

Sloan's aeronautics and space industry club, which currently counts about 97 student members, wants to bring industry recruiters to campus for networking events, plan social events (one proposed theme: "satellite reentry parties"), and hold interview boot camps to prepare MBAs for careers in space. It's also taking time to geek out a little, too. Last fall, the club held an event with astrophysicists who explained the science behind Interstellar, the 2014 science fiction film. It was a Friday night. The room reached capacity.

Being a space nerd, while a common avocation at MIT, didn't always translate to understanding the career potential of intergalactic travel. When Holland first started pitching the idea of the club with fellow Sloan student Rowland Graus, he said his peers weren't really aware people could get jobs in the space industry. "We got feedback like, 'I love Neil deGrasse Tyson,' or 'I've watched Cosmos,'" he says. Makes sense, given MIT's rich history of astronauts (the school has produced more astronauts than any other nonmilitary school, according to a university website).

Of course, as far as business school careers go, the private space industry is still a fairly unusual choice. Among Sloan's Class of 2014, the companies that hired the most students were McKinsey, Bain & Co., Amazon.com, Boston Consulting Group, and Apple, a Sloan report shows—none of which are exactly known for their extraterrestrial activities. Yet there are space companies out there that are hiring, online job postings show. They're not just looking for engineers; they also want MBAs with the business finesse to advise them on the best way to mine an asteroid, or source all the parts for a new rocket. "The new space industry has developed some pretty amazing rockets, and now they need people to help them manufacture and fly them," Holland says. "Companies need people with financial planning and analysis skills, people who can conduct a cost-benefit analysis for what parts to buy."

Holland's dream job is astronaut—an aspiration shared by 7- year-olds worldwide, but one Holland may have a much better shot at. He interned last summer at Blue Origin, the aerospace company founded by Amazon Chief Executive Jeff Bezos, and, when interviewed, told his recruiter about his ultimate career goal. She said the company could make it happen.

"It's the ultimate company perk," Holland says.

To contact the author on this story: Akane Otani at aotani1@bloomberg.net To contact the editor on this story: Francesca Levy at flevy6@bloomberg.net

source How to Get a Job in Space

What Do People Do On Valentine's Day?

Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day is a time when people show feelings of love, affection and friendship. It is celebrated in many ways worldwide and falls on February 14 each year.

What do people do?
Many people around the world celebrate Valentine’s Day by showing appreciation for the people they love or adore. Some people take their loved ones for a romantic dinner at a restaurant while others may choose this day to propose or get married. Many people give greeting cards, chocolates, jewelry or flowers, particularly roses, to their partners or admirers on Valentine’s Day.
It is also a time to appreciate friends in some social circles and cultures. For example, Valentine's Day in Finland refers to “Friend's day”, which is more about remembering all friends rather than focusing solely on romance. Valentine's Day in Guatemala is known as Day of Love and Friendship). It is similar to Valentine’s Day customs and traditions countries such as the United States but it is also a time for many to show their appreciation for their friends.
Public life
Valentine’s Day is not a public holiday in many countries, including Australia, Canada, the United Kingdom and the United States. However, restaurants, hotels and shopping centers may be busy around this time of the year.
Background
The origins of Valentine's Day are not clear but many sources believe that it stems from the story of St Valentine, a Roman priest who was martyred on or around February 14 in the year 270 CE. How he became the patron saint of lovers remains a mystery but one theory is that the church used the day of St Valentine’s martyrdom to Christianize the old Roman Lupercalia, a pagan festival held around the middle of February.
The ancient ceremony included putting girls’ names in a box and letting the boys draw them out. Couples would then be paired off until the following year. The Christian church substituted saints’ names for girls’ names in hope that the participant would model his life after the saint whose name he drew. However, it was once again girls’ names that ended up in the box by the 16th century.
Eventually the custom of sending anonymous cards or messages to those whom one admired became the accepted way of celebrating Valentine’s Day. There was an increase in interest in Valentine's Day, first in the United States and then in Canada, in the mid-19th century. Early versions of Valentine cards fashioned of satin and lace and ornamented with flowers, ribbons, and images of cupids or birds appeared in England in the 1880s.
Symbols
Hearts, the colors red and pink, roses, images and statues of cupids, and cupids’ bows and arrows symbolize the feeling of romance and love on Valentine’s Day. Cupid is usually portrayed as a small winged figure with a bow and arrow. In mythology, he uses his arrow to strike the hearts of people. People who fall in love are sometimes said to be “struck by Cupid's arrow”. The day focuses on love, romance, appreciation and friendship.

source Valentine's Day

How to Avoid Coming on Too Strong in Your Job Search

How to Avoid Coming on Too Strong in Your Job Search

During the job search, it’s all too easy to feel emotionally involved. After all, this is your livelihood on the line, and everybody’s telling you that a typo on your cover letter could be the difference between you going on to the interview stage or getting passed over entirely.

However, this same desire to get a job so badly could be the thing standing in the way of you actually getting hired.

The problem comes when you want something so bad that you go from being passionate and ambitious to seeming, to be honest, kind of needy.

In an article for Science magazine, career expert David Jensen explains:

Very few can achieve something difficult without desire. Desire, though, is like gasoline; it can burn too hot. It’s also like a lubricant; it can grease the gears, but if you have too much, things get slippery and hard to hold on to. It also doesn’t show very well, or not always.

For example, maybe you try so hard when networking with your professional contacts that you come on too strong and turn them off to helping you. Or maybe you’ve practiced your over-enthusiastic interview answers so much that you end up kind of scaring interviewers (they have a sixth sense for this sort of needy desire, Jensen says).

The question is, how do you show off your enthusiasm—without going overboard? Here are a couple of suggestions.

When Networking

When it comes to any sort of networking (in-person events, email, LinkedIn), the name of the game is being straightforward but casual. Let people know that you’re on the job hunt, but don’t shove it down their throats.

For example, if you’re at a networking event, you don’t want to spend every second of a 10-minute conversation talking about yourself and what you’re looking for in a job. Instead, use your job search as a jumping off point for someone else to talk about what they do. Saying, “Oh, you work in finance? I’ve actually been looking at different positions in the sector for a while. What is it that you do?” is a lot less aggressive but also opens up the door to more possibilities of where the conversation can go.

Another important tip for networking during the job search? Always offer your contacts some sort of out. For instance, if you’re asking a friend to put a good word in for you at her company, end with something like, “If you don’t feel comfortable doing this, I completely understand. There’s absolutely no pressure.” Regardless of how badly you want that job, it’s not worth making a contact feel awkward (and potentially having the opposite effect).

In Your Job Application Materials

When you’re the one doing all of the work to get a job, it’s easy for your materials to come off as being all about you. What’s wrong with this approach? You’re missing a critical part of the equation: The company that’s doing the hiring.

Remember that from hiring managers’ perspectives, your job application is actually all about them, since they’re the ones in need of someone and therefore opening up the opportunity for you to apply.

So, don’t let your resume, cover letter, or application turn into a giant “me”-fest. Much like the principles of networking, it’s all about making the other person the center of attention. Take extra care in your cover letter to explain what you’d do for the company (not just the fact that the job would be great for you), and make sure your resume actually illustrates your qualifications for that particular job.

During the Interview

Over-preparation can actually be a bad thing when it comes to job interviews! For example, have you ever had someone look you straight in the eye for extended periods of time? Trust me on this one: It’s ridiculously uncomfortable!

While it’s important to go over interview questions and think about how you want to come across when you’re meeting with a hiring manager, it’s also important to think about how you may be coming across to the other person. For instance, a firm handshake it good; a bone-crushing grip is not. Practicing your answers tocommon interview questions can totally help you; memorizing answers word-for-word will come across as rehearsed and awkward.

Be prepared for anything in an interview, including having to go with the flow at some point or another.

The best way to keep your desire for an opportunity in check? Jensen suggests reminding yourself that there are bigger and more important things out there: “…focus less on whether or not you win in the end. You still have to be sharp; that’s why you prepare well. But once you’ve prepared, you need to calm down. And you can. You know why? Because it really doesn’t matter that much.”

In other words, if this opportunity doesn’t pan out, know that there will be another great one around the corner.

source How to Avoid Coming on Too Strong in Your Job Search

How to Clean Up Your Social Media During the Job Search

How to Clean Up Your Social Media During the Job Search

Think the whole “future employers checking your social media accounts” thing is just an annoying urban legend? Think again.

It turns out that one in three employers have rejected candidates based on something they found out about them online. So, here’s a guide to what you need to know before you start sending your resume out there. The bottom line: Don’t lose a job offerjust because you forgot to delete those photos from your friend’s bachelorette party.

source How to Clean Up Your Social Media During the Job Search

How to Make Sure You Sound Like a Person (Not a Robot) in an Interview

How to Make Sure You Sound Like a Person (Not a Robot) in an Interview

I once worked with a senior marketing executive. He was among the top candidates for a chief marketing officer role with one of my recruiting clients. On paper, he was impressive. In real life? Really great. Organized, focused, and one heck of a nice guy. I thought he would kill it throughout the interview process.

He made it one round.

One. Uno. I was shocked. I seriously thought this guy was going the distance.

I called the head of HR, and she told me exactly what had gone wrong.

In his fervor to be prepared to say just the right things, at just the right moment, every step of the way, something not-so-great happened to that senior marketing executive. He turned himself into an over-rehearsed, inauthentic robot. And the members of the executive team noticed, quickly.

(And not in a good way.)

So how do you avoid this moment? How do you make sure you walk into your next job interview ready to demonstrate that you’re professional, genuine, and likeable, without coming across as C3PO or, worse, some freewheeling cheeseball?

Here are four strategies to consider:

1. Prepare, But Don’t Memorize

Oh, heck yes you need to walk in to the interview prepared. This is not news. But “prepared” does not mean “I just memorized every last stinking question that could possibly be asked.” It’s far better to consider how your career story wraps around the questions you hear are always asked in interviews (ahem, Google “most common interview questions”) than to over-rehearse rote responses to all of them. It’s near impossible to come across as relaxed and authentic when you’re in hyper-vigilant mode waiting for the next question to come up.

2. Think P-I-E

Mmmmm, pie. No, seriously: P-I-E. It stands for passionate, interested, and engaged.

It’s the perfect acronym (and yes, it’s OK to memorize this one) to help ensure that you are a genuine, normal human being in your next interview. Correct answers don’t mean a thing (just ask that marketing exec) if you don’t look inspired to be there, totally dialed in to the conversation, and crazy about that thing that you do. Nail all three of these and you’re golden.

3. Choose Pause Over Babble

Quantity is most assuredly not always quality. If you don’t know quite how to answer a question, don’t try and cover it up with a tidal wave of words and sentences. You’re not going to overwhelm anyone into hiring you, for crying out loud. Instead, realize that it’s perfectly OK to pause and think for a second or two. It’s also OK to ask for clarification if you don’t quite understand what’s being asked.

Now, don’t sit there and stare down the poor person across the table for 2.5 minutes, but short, thoughtful pauses don’t make you weak; they make you real.

4. Take a Run-Through

You know that silly little saying, “Practice makes perfect?” Right, we’ve established by now that we’re not going for “perfect” here, but you can bet your bottom dollar you’ll be more at ease in that interview if you take a run-through or two prior to the big day. Ask a friend or family member whose opinion you value to spend 30 minutes with you. Give them a list of questions that you suspect might be asked.  And then hit it.

After the mock interview, ask that person for honest feedback: How did you come across? How was your body language, your eye contact? Better yet, film the whole session and watch it for yourself a time or two in advance of the interview. Fine tune accordingly.

Arriving prepared for an interview is everything. But, you know what’s more likely to clinch it for you?

Arriving authentic.

source How to Make Sure You Sound Like a Person (Not a Robot) in an Interview

Your Game Plan for Getting Noticed by Your Dream Company

Your Game Plan for Getting Noticed by Your Dream Company

With the growing trend in companies creating a unique company culture with perks like unlimited vacations or nap pods, it’s not so uncommon to have a dream company before you even have a dream job.

But once you know what your dream company is, what’s next? How do you begin the process of getting noticed and showing the team that you’re the next great addition?

Here’s your four-step game plan. Hint: It’s not about submitting your resume to every open job on the website.

1. Do Your Research

Even though you’ve likely combed through dozens of photos of your dream company’s gorgeous office and know all about its catered lunch policy, you should still take some time to do more research. Whether you do more digging into the company’s core values or core product, there’s always more to learn. For some ideas for where to look for this information beyond the company website, check out this article on researching companies.

Why is this so critical? The more you know about the company, the more you’ll be able to stand out in your networking conversations and application materials—plus you’ll even sound more enthusiastic in the interview. Of course, your research shouldn’t stop at the company level. Pull up LinkedIn and see what you can learn about who works at and runs the company to see what themes come up.

2. Craft Your Career Narrative

Once you have a really good sense of what you’re signing up for, see how you fit into the picture. What is your career narrative, and why does it lead you to this particular company? Perhaps you’re a programming whiz with a passion for understanding the financial market, or maybe you’re a marketing pro with a keen interest in the field of health and wellness. Regardless, career expert Jenny Foss offers some excellent tips here on how to tell your career story, no matter how complicated it is.

With your story strung together, practice, practice, and practice some more. You’re going to need to nail your elevator pitch when it comes time for you to meet those people you’ve been stalking on LinkedIn and, with any luck, the interviewers at this company.

3. Get Your Foot in the Door

This is where things get a bit trickier. Armed with your perfected elevator pitch and in-depth company knowledge, your next step is connecting with people who work at your dream company. If you already have a friend or acquaintance who you feel comfortable contacting to learn more about the company, great! If not, here’s how to find an “in” at the company fast.

With one or two people lined up, politely ask to set up an informational interview. This will give you an opportunity to get an insider’s perspective and let someone within the company know of your enthusiasm and interest. Whether you end up having a quick networking call or a longer sit-down conversation, plan ahead what questions you need to ask in order to get the information you’re looking for. Maybe it’s what the company seeks in a new hire or what your friend’s own interview experience was—the key here is to know what you want to find out.

4. Tailor Your Application

Now that you’ve laid all the groundwork, it’s finally time to apply. (If you get an internal referral from all the networking you’ve been doing, that’s even better.) This being your dream company and all, you’ll obviously not send your standard resume. Tailor that resume like you mean it, so there can be no doubt you’re ideal for the company.

Next, write an unforgettable introduction for your cover letter (here are dozens of great examples), and wrap up by following some of these tips on writing cover letters that make hiring managers smile, then call you. Tailoring your application documents is an important part of any job search process, but let’s not forget which company this is for. Go all out.

Enthusiasm alone will only get you so far. To really get noticed, you’re going to need to put in the work. The good thing is, in the end, those nap pods (or whatever it is about your dream company that you love) will have been worth the effort.

source Your Game Plan for Getting Noticed by Your Dream Company

7 Killer Questions to Ask at Your Next Interview

7 Killer Questions to Ask at Your Next Interview

“So, do you have any questions for me?”

The interview is almost over, and you’ve nailed every question the hiring manager has asked. But don’t brush off this last one as a formality.

“If an applicant doesn’t have any questions for me, that’s a red flag,” explains Angela Smith, a recruiter. “I’m thinking that they either don’t care or can’t be bothered to do research about my company.”

Almost as bad as not asking a question is asking one that could be answered by looking at the job description or company website.

So what should you ask to impress the hiring manager and end the interview on a high note?

We’re glad you asked.

source 7 Killer Questions to Ask at Your Next Interview

5 Smart Networking Strategies for Career Changers

5 Smart Networking Strategies for Career Changers

Career changes can feel incredibly daunting. And networking for that change? Even more so. All your contacts know you for your current role and responsibilities, so how do you even begin networking effectively for your new desired role?

Like the career change itself, this particular step probably won’t be as dramatic as you might imagine (no, really). In fact, much of the networking you’ll be doing will be the same, with just a couple of exceptions—and these sometimes make things easier, not harder!

1. Let People Know

Even though many of the people in your immediate network won’t be in your target industry, you never know who might be in their networks. So let people know you’re thinking about making a change, and see if they know anyone you can connect with. (This “Help Me Find a Job” template can be easily adapted to a career-changing situation.)

Likewise with your social media network, especially if your career change is actually a fairly well worn path (think leaving your corporate job for a startup). You might just attract the attention of a recruiter and cut down on the networking you need to do.

2. Do Your Research

Even beyond your immediate network, you likely have more resources at your disposal than you realize. Before you start reaching out to people who are a little further removed from you, do your research. Does your university give you access to an alumni database? Have you searched on LinkedIn for people in your target role to check out their career paths? What are the professional organizations that are active in your area? This might not feel like networking to you, but it’s important to lay the foundation for your future efforts.

3. Find Others Who Have Done It

Once you get a sense of the different ways you’ll be able to meet more people, know that the most useful people for you to connect with are those who have already made the career change you’d like to make. LinkedIn can be particularly useful here, since you can see people’s career paths right there on their profiles. While reaching out to people who have an extensive tenure in the industry can be helpful to learn more about the trade, other recent career changers are often able to offer more strategic advice about breaking into your new field.

4. Seek Advice

Networking is hard work—especially the meeting people and talking to them bit—but magically, it’s actually easier when you’re new to an industry. Think about it this way: Networking is all about telling your story, asking questions, and getting advice. As a career changer, your story is going to be more interesting than most and, being new and all, you’ll naturally have questions and require advice. Use this to your advantage! Once you’ve looked up people to talk to, set up a bunch of informational interviews and go to town.

5. Go to Industry Events

Finally, put yourself out there. Go to local events related to your industry. Professional organizations frequently have both social and professional development events—and you could benefit from both. Learn something new and create some luck for yourself. You might just end up in the right place at the right time and meet the person who ends up giving you your big break into the field.

It feels really big right now, but if you take it step by step and remind yourself to be patient, before long, you’ll be the one people reach out to wanting to learn about changing careers. Of course, you’ll still remember how intimidating it all felt and offer some words of wisdom or open a door or two. Right?

source 5 Smart Networking Strategies for Career Changers

A 3-Step Plan for Turning a Job Rejection Into an Opportunity

A 3-Step Plan for Turning a Job Rejection Into an Opportunity

After acing multiple rounds of interviews, daydreaming about how you’re going to decorate your office, and basking in the warm feeling of having finally found “your people,” you’ve just opened an email that says, “Thank you for applying, but...”

Bummer.

But before you send a strongly worded email, order a glitter bomb, or dissolve into a puddle of self-pity, take a deep breath and try to read the situation for what it is: You got really close. Final round interviews typically mean you’re competing with only one or two other people. The hiring manager likely remains very impressed with your skills, but for some reason—which may or may not even be related to you—gave the role to someone else.

Don’t throw away all the effort you’ve put into this company by moving on without responding. This might not be exactly the opportunity you were envisioning, but it’s an opportunity nonetheless. Make the most of it by sending a thoughtful thank you note. Here’s how.

1. Say Thank You

First things first: Say thank you. Hosting a candidate for an interview takes time, effort, and a surprising amount of coordination from many people. You may not have landed the job, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t try to be courteous hosts throughout the interview process.

The key here to not sounding generic or even passively annoyed is to be specific. Thank the hiring manager or recruiter for the chance to learn more about the company and meet the team and for the overall experience of interviewing for the role. Did anything from the day stand out to you in particular as a positive memory? Write about that. Just a sentence or two will do.

2. Ask for Feedback

Maybe you not getting the job ultimately had little to do with you, but maybe not. And the only way for you to find out is to ask what you could have done better.

In general, it seems interviewers are typically pretty hesitant to do this, but it doesn’t hurt to ask, especially if you made it to the final round. If they don’t respond, there’s no harm done, and you get bonus points for being the type of person who seeks feedback. If you do get feedback, you’ll have something to work on for your next interview. Win-win.

Make it easier by asking something less broad than, “Do you have any feedback you can offer me?” Try something like, “Are there particular skills that you think I could bolster for future opportunities?” or “Pointers on how I could better approach the technical portion of the interview would be greatly appreciated.”

3. Keep the Door Open

At this point, you’re already going to successfully make the impression that you’re a gracious and introspective person. Good job. Wrap up by keeping the door open and maximizing this chance to expand your network. Reiterate your interest in the type of work you interviewed for, and ask that the team keep in you in mind for future similar opportunities.

You never know what this simple request could lead to. As Sara McCord explains, she was able to turn a rejection from one company into a job offer at another after the CEO she interviewed with vouched for her. Treat this note as a way to open more doors, rather than just the closing of one.

As with all thank you notes, you’ll want to follow the standard etiquette and send it quickly. It’s okay to be bummed out about not getting the job, but don’t let it hold you back for long. Who knows? This could actually lead to your next big break.

source A 3-Step Plan for Turning a Job Rejection Into an Opportunity