Valentine's Day can
be the most dreaded and lonely day for those who are single. It can be a day
that mirrors to you, your stark aloneness and can create a downward negative
spiral into your low self-worth, feelings of not being lovable and questioning
if you are just a fatally flawed person and doomed to be alone forever. False!
Let's pull you out of that delusion and get back into the reality that you
being single has more to do with how powerful you are and self-reliant you are
than you not being good enough. Not many people are brave enough to face being
single so they settle into a miserable life. Be happy this is not you, even if
your being single wasn't your choice. It may not have been your choice but it
is your reality. If it was your choice, being single is still your reality and
so celebrate the benefits.
1.
Self-sufficient: Be proud
you have created, or are creating, an independent life for yourself that you
love or will eventually love. The life you have now has all the opportunity of
being amazing and now no one aside from you will get to take credit for
building it but you. Take pride that you have created, or are creating,
yourself into a person who does not need a relationship to come and rescue you
from your life alone. You are your own leader and hero now. Right now is your
moment to live your life on your terms. You don't have to explain anything
about yourself, your life or your decisions to anyone. Amen!
2.
Self-development: Deep
down you know love is out there but you have come to realize, or are coming to
realize, you are not going to love just anyone because you're lonely. You are
going to take this time to develop who you are so you commit to only falling in
love again when you feel ready. Poor decisions in partners are made from
"lonely." Quality decisions in partners are made from being
"ready." Feeling ready means you are secure enough in yourself and in
your viability, lovability and your capability to offer a relationship what it
would need to have survivability.
3. Courage over
fear: Because you have
the courage to be alone, or are developing that courage, you are learning or
have learned that it is much healthier to be single than to be stuck in a
relationship and be miserable. Truth is, it is easier to stay in a relationship
and suffer than it is to be brave and face the stark aloneness of being single.
Be proud you have chosen, or are choosing, courage over fear and bravery over
misery. This time in your life of being single will be temporary so keep up
that courage daily.
4. Time to blossom: You have figured out, or now get to figure out, that to find true love, the high quality love your are looking for, that you need your alone time of being single to truly blossom. For the right love to arrive in your life you have to prove to yourself you can thrive on your own. In allowing this process to unfold you will enter your next relationship whole, rather than entering into it needy of someone else to complete you. Your singleness gifts you the time to transform yourself, expand yourself and greatly improve the you that you already are.
4. Time to blossom: You have figured out, or now get to figure out, that to find true love, the high quality love your are looking for, that you need your alone time of being single to truly blossom. For the right love to arrive in your life you have to prove to yourself you can thrive on your own. In allowing this process to unfold you will enter your next relationship whole, rather than entering into it needy of someone else to complete you. Your singleness gifts you the time to transform yourself, expand yourself and greatly improve the you that you already are.
5. Self-worth: Being single and experiencing yourself
fully in your individuality gifts you the opportunity to learn how to build
your own self-worth. You get to learn how to fully take care of loving you.
When you are your only love supply you have the opportunity to learn, to not
just tolerate, but fully enjoy being in your company as much as being in the company
of another without feeling lonely. When you have reached this place, or are
working on it, then you have achieved a level of self-worth many never achieve!
Remember: You have to love you before you can fully understand and accept
another's love for you.
6. Nurture
yourself: When you are
single you have the chance to be deliberate about your life. You now have the
space and time to choose who you want be, wisely, and then take advantage of
the opportunity to nurture yourself deliberately. You get to put yourself first
and let all others come second. You get to exercise when you want, change your
diet to healthier, drink lots of water, and get plenty of rest because there is
no one demanding your time or being needy of your energy. These times to be alone
in life come and go quickly so take advantage of being single to nurture you.
7. Just Do You: There truly is not a greater time to
celebrate and find yourself more deeply than when you are single. Set goals,
make a bucket list, start the yoga class you have been putting off, join that
group you had always been interested in. This is your time to define and expand
who you are. Your time to practice just being "you" without anyone
else telling you how and who to be. This is how you create and grow into a healthy
you.
Don't fret this
Valentine's Day. It's just a day. You are not less if you are alone. In fact,
you can create a Valentine's Day date for yourself that requires only your
attendance that can be fabulous. It is all in the power of your mindset, your
attitude and how you perceive being single. If you are single you are powerful.
It takes courage to be alone.
Sherapy Advice: When you are single, the compass you
need to get out of feeling alone is to focus deliberately on yourself. You will
grow and come out on top.
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